Navigating Conflict God’s Way

Biblical Steps to Resolve Disagreements with Grace, Love, and Wisdom

Conflict is inevitable. Whether it’s a disagreement with your spouse, a misunderstanding with a friend, or tension at work, you will face conflict. Jesus didn’t promise a life free from conflict—He promised peace in the midst of it (John 16:33). The real question isn’t if conflict will happen but how we handle it when it does.

Let’s be honest: As Christians, we don’t always get it right. Sometimes we avoid confrontation altogether, sweeping issues under the rug until they explode later. Other times, we go to war over something that should have been resolved with a simple conversation. Neither of these approaches reflects Christ.

So how do we handle conflict in a way that honors God? The Bible lays it out clearly. Let’s dive into some biblical principles for handling disagreements with grace, love, and wisdom.

1. Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself (Matthew 7:3-5)

Before you confront someone, pause. Ask God to search your heart first. Jesus said, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” (Matthew 7:3).

That means before you point fingers, take a good, hard look in the mirror. Are you approaching the situation with a heart full of pride? Are you assuming the worst about the other person? Are you willing to admit if you’re wrong?

Prayerfully ask God to reveal any sinful attitudes in you first. A humble heart changes the whole conversation.

2. Go to Them, Not to Everyone Else (Matthew 18:15)

We love to talk about conflict more than we love to resolve it. Let’s be real—gossip is easier than confrontation. But Jesus is clear: “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you.” (Matthew 18:15).

That means:

• No venting on social media.
• No rallying troops to take your side.
• No passive-aggressive hints.

Go directly to the person. Face-to-face is best, but if that’s not possible, a personal phone call is better than a text. Address it with the goal of peace, not proving a point.

3. Speak the Truth in Love (Ephesians 4:15)

There’s a difference between telling the truth and telling the truth in love. The first can be brutal. The second is biblical. Paul reminds us in Ephesians 4:15 to “speak the truth in love.”

• Be honest, but not harsh.
• Be clear, but not cruel.
• Be direct, but not destructive.

Your words have power. Proverbs 18:21 says, “The tongue has the power of life and death.” The goal isn’t to win the argument but to win the person.

4. Listen More Than You Speak (James 1:19)

James 1:19 gives us the best relationship advice ever: “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”

Too often, we listen just enough to craft our next response instead of truly understanding the other person. Instead:

• Seek to understand before being understood.
• Repeat back what they’re saying to make sure you get it.
• Validate their feelings, even if you don’t agree.

If you listen well, you may realize the issue isn’t as big as you thought.

5. Choose Reconciliation Over Being Right (Romans 12:18)

Paul tells us, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” (Romans 12:18). Notice he says, “as far as it depends on you.” That means you do your part, even if the other person doesn’t.

Sometimes that means letting go of being right. Sometimes that means apologizing first. Sometimes it means walking away from a fight that isn’t worth it.

Here’s the hard truth: Reconciliation doesn’t always mean agreement. You don’t have to see eye-to-eye to walk hand-in-hand. But you do have to value the relationship over the issue.

6. Forgive, Even If They Don’t Deserve It (Colossians 3:13)

This one stings. Forgiveness isn’t easy, but it’s essential. Colossians 3:13 says, “Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

That means:

• You don’t wait for them to apologize.
• You don’t hold grudges.
• You release them, even if they don’t deserve it.

Why? Because Jesus did that for you. And because bitterness will eat you alive. Forgiveness isn’t about letting them off the hook—it’s about setting your heart free.

7. Let God Handle the Rest (Romans 12:19)

Not every conflict will be neatly resolved. Some people won’t accept your apology. Some will keep holding onto resentment. Some will never admit their wrongs. That’s when you have to let go and let God.

Romans 12:19 says, “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath.”

Trust God to handle what you can’t. Your job is obedience. His job is justice.

Final Thoughts: Be a Peacemaker, Not a Peacebreaker

Jesus said, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.” (Matthew 5:9). That doesn’t mean we avoid conflict—it means we navigate it with wisdom, humility, and love.

Will you get it right every time? No. Will conflict still be messy? Sometimes. But if you handle it God’s way, you’ll not only preserve relationships—you’ll grow in your faith, maturity, and witness for Christ.

So the next time you face conflict (which will probably be soon), pause. Pray. And handle it like a follower of Jesus, not just a follower of your emotions.

What’s the hardest part of handling conflict for you? Let’s talk about it in the comments below.